Human Sexuality . Healthy Sex Tips

Sex During Troubled Times

• As kids, many would hide under the covers when scared.  With war, terrorism, and shaky economy adding to life’s concerns, it’s easy to retreat to the bedroom.  But for adults, crawling under the blankets feels better when you’re with someone else -- and it might help us cope better in these turbulent times.
• People have a way of finding each other during stressful times. Birth rates spike nine months after major disasters, including Sept. 11. Like kids, we still seek security in warm places -- and there is no place warmer than the arms of someone we care about. 
• Sex can’t cure anthrax or SARS, but it can be an antidote to fear. During sex there is escape, comfort & acceptance.
• SEX is one of the few healthy activities with sensations intense enough to eclipse the anxiety so pervasive in our society today.
• Some resort to anger and cynicism in order to feel in control. They deny the importance of passion and pleasure, and instead distance themselves from others.
• During difficult times, it is important that we take care of ourselves -- healthy sex is an excellent option. Sex relaxes us when we are stressed, helps us feel connected when alone, provides a pleasurable respite after writing a check to the IRS, and can give us an escape when we’re overwhelmed. Your sexual life is important and deserves more protection than that offered by duct tape!

Tips

• Be affectionate without necessarily being sexual.
• Touch your partner. Make it clear you are not alone. Don’t watch bad news of TV by yourself. If you must, sit next to you partner and bring the blanket!
• Make time for intimacy.
• If you need to, build in time to fret, but also make time for having fun. Take 45 minutes to have skin-to-skin contact with your partner. You don’t even have to have intercourse. Massage away life’s tension, but do it naked.  Try something different.
• Shop on line or just surf the Web to laugh together at what people spend their money on.
• Keep talking before, during and after sex.
• Many people, especially men, have a tendency to isolate themselves when they’re stressed out. But communication is vitally important to our well-being.
• Keep in mind that sex can be good exercise.
• After jogging or riding your bike, keep your heart rate up by taking your partner for a few more laps around the bedroom. Be playful!
• If necessary, stay up late and go to work tired. You will find that even if you get less sleep, the sleep you have will be more satisfying. If people tell you you look awful the next day, just smile and let them know you’ve been busy coping with all the troubles of the world -- under the covers.
• Sex capitalizes the “N” in now. The desire to crawl under the covers and hide is a natural response to anxiety. And the beauty is that as adults, we don’t have to under the blankets by ourselves.

The DO’s of Sex Education

• Do be an ask-able parent . . . Let your immediate response fit your child’s question.
• Do use correct terminology . . . Your arm is not a Charlie, why should your penis be a Peter?
• Do talk to your child when s/he’s young, so s/he’ll talk to you when s/he’s older.
• Do teach your child respect for his/her body and the bodies of others.
• Do err on the side of saying too little (the child will keep asking) rather than too much (the child may become anxious).
• Do ask a question if you are not sure what your child is asking.
• Do tell your child and show your child what non-abusive love is.
• Do prepare your child with accurate information for our sexual world.
• Do teach your child your morals and values without lectures or contradictory actions.
• Do be suspicious of incest . . . 75-85% of all sexual abuse is perpetrated by a person your child knows. Report any suspicions to police or Protective Services.
• Do let your passive sex education (reactions, behavior, and attitudes) confirm and compliment your active sex education (information, discussion, and answers.
• Do begin sex education at home and at birth with awareness of what you want to teach.
• Do remember your child initially asks out of curiosity because s/he wants to learn not because of perversion, adult sexual activity or hang-ups.
• Do teach your child the consequences of his/her actions, so s/he will be a responsible adult.

 

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